There is no preparation for it. It hits you like a runaway steam engine. You have tried to prepare yourself. You have seen the warning signs. Still...there truly is no preparation. Your child has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum disorder. You may feel alone, overwhelmed, lost, depressed, or all of the above. The most important thing to remember right now is that you are ALLOWED to feel this way. You are allowed to feel any way you want. However, it is critically important for you to have a support system. This can be your spouse/significant other, parents, friends, or whomever you choose, but you need someone.
Just a little bit of background. I am not a professional in the field. I am a mom whose son was diagnosed with Asperger's and severe ADHD. He is now 19 years old and on his way to becoming a productive citizen. It was hard work and a team effort, but he is getting there. That being said, I see parents who are struggling with the diagnosis, the therapy and the process in general. This blog is intended to share our journey and hopefully help others in the process.
Things to remember:
** It is OK to mourn the loss of who you dreamed your child would become. When we are expecting, we have thoughts and dreams of our little ones become athletes, surgeons, or CEOs. When dealt a diagnosis, such as autism spectrum disorder, those thoughts and dreams can become dashed. Allow yourself to mourn the loss of those thoughts and dreams. The important thing is to create new dreams for your child as you navigate the spectrum.
** It is NOT your fault. Clinical researchers have only theorized about a few scenarios that could be contributing factors (www.nationalautismassociation.org). Do not beat yourself up thinking about what if or shoulda, woulda, coulda.
** Do not let this diagnosis dictate who your child will become. Had you told me just a few short years ago that my son would be working part time, going to school part time and doing an internship, I would have laughed at you and called you crazy. However, here we are, and he is doing these things.
** Educate yourself: Research your child's specific diagnosis. Research treatment options. Research therapy and education options. Each child is different. Their symptoms are different. Their reactions are different. They learn differently. Do not allow the school district to lump your child into a classroom where only one method is taught.
** Know your rights: Research your rights, as well as your child's. Do not fear the school system. You are your child's advocate and voice. Become a warrior for your child.
** Learn what causes meltdowns if your child has them...and learn to prevent them. Learn what calms your child once the meltdown starts.
These are just a few things to think about as you start to navigate the ocean that is "The Spectrum." Feel free to comment, ask questions, etc. You are not alone on your journey!
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